Tapper Dated Monica Lewinsky And Wrote Fat Jokes About Her To Boost His Career

“That said, let the whoring begin.” That’s how Jake Tapper began the main body of his work discussing his brief relationship with Monica Lewinsky prior to the explosive revelations about Clinton’s infidelity.  His 1998 piece entitled “I Dated Monica Lewinsky” was published in the Washington City Paper back when Tapper was just a fledgling attempting to earn his wings in the journalism world.

While Tapper intended the piece to be an intimate look at the Lewinsky affair from the perspective of a former lover, the reality is that the piece is a much more intimate look into the man that now works for CNN.

Perhaps the clearest admission of the dark soul behind the liberal anchor comes from this sentence: “I write, clearly, because I want a piece of this story just like everybody else.”  At heart, Jake Tapper knows that he is nothing more than an attention-seeking oaf.

Let’s take a look at some of what he wrote:

It’s still etched on my December calendar: the Saturday night of Joe and Danielle’s going-away party at Stetson’s on U Street NW. I walked in, checked out the crowd, and immediately headed for Doug, the owner. I chatted and drank with him, and, in an effort to make myself as unapproachable as possible, I started shooting pool with him. Soon enough, Doug was called back to his duties, and I had to start feeding the table quarters. Between my former colleague Maloni and me, we could only scrape together three of the requisite four quarters.  I took that particular need and blended it with another one, stepping up to a group of three women who had been hovering near the table.

“Do any of you have a quarter?” I asked, and one of them, the one with the smile that seemed to be about nothing in particular, dug into her purse and handed me one. I thanked her, introduced myself, and resumed hunting my target stripes.

“Am I drunk, or is she cute?” I asked Maloni.
“Which one?” he said.

“Monica,” I said. “The one in the black.”
“You’re drunk,” said Maloni, a rugby pretty boy.

Tapper goes on to say that he disagreed and found Lewinsky to be cute indeed but that type of journalistic flourish was both completely uncalled for and terribly rude.  There was no need to have a friend call her ugly unless you wish to insult your friend at the expense of your former date. Tapper continued: “She was cute, if a little zaftig. And friendly. And nice.”  For those that don’t know (and I didn’t) zaftig is a “polite” way to call someone plump.  He was insulting her weight, but hey, at least she was nice–every ladies favorite compliment. 

That’s when Tapper pulls out all the tricks of subtlety he thought would slip past the less careful reader and begins attacking Monica’s character by placing blame on her for everything that Bill Clinton did.  He says that he was told Lewinsky was “bad news” and that she had been kicked out of the White House because “she had kept wandering into the Oval Office and inapproptiately striking up conversations with the commander in chief.”

In other words, Tapper is saying that at 21-years young, Monica was hoping she could get with a disgusting, grey-haired pimp like Bill Clinton.

Jake Tapper started covering for Clinton at the very nascent of his career and he just can’t help himself as he comments on the eating habits of Monica, again and again. One can assume, he includes these tidbits as a reference to her…how did he put it? Her “zaftig” qualities.

“Right off, Monica was different from the standard D.C. date: not a salad-picker, she joined me in appetizers and an actual entree of her own. She had a beer or two, while I drank bourbon.”

Now, there are plenty of breadcrumbs that are left in the wake of liberal blowhards, just look that the MSNBC anchors joking in the aftermath of the Mandalay Bay Massacre.  So I don’t mean to single out Jake Tapper as the one bad guy inside the beltway.  I just mean to point out that he’s one of the worst and in one of the most subtle ways.  He is happy to play coy at CNN but he’s hardly an angel behind the mask.

The rest of the piece is peppered with backhanded compliments such as:

“A bit too much a resident of Planet Hap-Hap-Happy in my acerbic view”

“A little bizarre in her almost childlike sweetness”

“She’s a little chubby, but she’s leaps and bounds prettier than that vacuous mug shot beamed all over the world” (he had to mention her weight again, of course)

And one more tidbit from Jake The Snake about his own character:

“Normally, I love this shit. When the gong of scandal ringeth, count on me to be the first in line for the hanging, salivating in expectation of the next tidbit.”

As for what Tapper actually knew about Monica and Bill? Not much but he doesn’t really care, either. He thinks Bill is no different than anyone else in Washington–and that’s probably because every morning he wakes up and looks at Jake Tapper in the mirror.

Deplorable Digest owes GotNews for bringing this story to our attention.  A previous anonymous sleuth archived the story one year ago, so thanks to him as well.

And sorry everyone (especially Tucker Carlson) it wasn’t Cuomo!

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